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Re: Asian guys with white girls: Redux

International Observer — Thu, 03 Jan 2019 15:32:27 -0000

Every Asian male online claims to have a dating life that involves all sorts of White women. But in reality where are all these couples? I live amongst the biggest Asian American community in America and it is rare to see more than one or two AM-WF couple every week. Sometimes I can go a month before seeing one.

Re: Asian guys with white girls: Redux

nukehand101 . — Sat, 16 Jan 2016 04:15:10 -0000

I haven't seen hot white girls with yellow fever.

Re: Asian guys with white girls: Redux

Frank — Sat, 08 Dec 2012 18:11:24 -0000

These couples are not growing in number. They are actually diminishing.

Re: Asian guys with white girls: Redux

Frank — Sat, 08 Dec 2012 18:07:16 -0000

No one is staring because White guys are stealing all the beautiful Asian girls. Deal with it.

Re: Asian guys with white girls: Redux

Jack — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 05:20:06 -0000

@JayL86 Remember, males are usually the pursuers trying to mate with any females. What you're analysis about asian men "trying too hard" can be said for any ethnicity of men. The only difference with asian men compared to other races is that there aren't enough asian men in the U.S. for white women to experience. Human beings in general socialize the best with who they know.

Re: Asian guys with white girls: Redux

JayL86 — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 13:47:03 -0000

As an Asian man who's dated Asian and Caucasian/European females in the past, and I am currently dating a white girl(I'm getting old, hopefully this will be long-term this time lol). Women like confidence, they don't like arrogance, pushiness, possessiveness and guys who are too shy. Most Asian men are having second thoughts to approach a white girl due to the fact that they feel excited to be with that white girl, but overwhelmed by the thought of it, hence they lose confidence or if they do approach the white girl, they "try too hard", which scares the white girl away.

Another reason why white girls tend to run away from Asian guys even after the early stages (if the Asian guy manages to approach the white girl), is Asian men are too possessive, and in the Asian culture, men usually are in control. My advice is YOU have to remember that you are NOT dating an Asian girl and you are definitely NOT in Asia. You have to learn how to adjust and adapt to their lifestyle and the North American culture.

Bottom line : Intelligent and decent white girls like Asian guys, slutty and ignorant white girls, who you wouldn't want to be with in the first place, usually aren't attracted to Asian men due to the "stereotypical myth" of having a smaller penis size. If you think that white girl isn't attracted to your Asian features, oh well?? To each its own.

Be yourself, do not be possessive, learn to adapt and respect their lifestyle, BE CONFIDENT and trust me, you will be successful. OH by the way... DO NOT be clingy.... :) White girls love their space, Asian girls.... not so much. I've dated both races and I always seem to end up with a white girl, so I've weighted both sides and learned the differences.

That is my advice. :)

Re: Asian guys with white girls: Redux

powerbee1 — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 03:58:32 -0000

@Caro_Caro you get strange looks with your asian male friend because they're scared, like people think all asian men will steal their beautiful white women or something which is a joke, personally I've found pygmies looking better than some white women.

Re: Asian guys with white girls: Redux

powerbee1 — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 03:51:40 -0000

@lp Well depends. Usually, the girls are the ones that choose the guys, but then why are there so few white woman and asian man couples than reverse? I'm wondering if white women even like asian guys except for the liberal ones.

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AJ12 — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 15:26:07 -0000

There is only one race: the human race.

Love is the colour of water.

Re: Asian guys with white girls: Redux

Hollisterlvr2010 — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 15:26:10 -0000

Coming from a nonwhite nonasian female, I have to say Asian men ARE attractive. Asians are not prominent where I live, though. It's generally an all-white community

Re: Asian guys with white girls: Redux

Observer — Sun, 23 Jan 2011 01:48:05 -0000

As an Asian-American Male myself, in my opinion, there is nothing wrong with the fact that more Asian Males are increasingly starting relationships with White Females. The number of Asian Male-White Female couples that people see on the street are increasing as time goes by as Asian Males increasingly develop the self-confidence, character traits, charisma, and other qualities in men that women value to be a steady provider and someone skilled enough with people to keep a long-term relationship going, to start relationships with White Females. And also the numbers of Asian Male-White Female couples will gradually increase as White Females find out that yes, many Asian men are interested in them and White Females in turn become unafraid to take the initiative and show their interest in Asian Men and/or to return the interest shown by Asian Men in them.

The number of Asian Males starting relationships with White Females and females of other races will only increase as more and more Asian Males develop the bravery and courage to overcome their previous fears and get the guts to just go for it and ask women of other races out on dates whether they succeed or fail at first. And it will also increase as enough Asian Males develop enough adaptability skills to figure out the reason why they failed if they did not succeed at first in getting a date with a women of another race and so then change themselves so that they grow as people and improve themselves so that they take a different approach so that they succeed the next time, and as they develop enough persistency to keep on trying even if they do not initially succeed at first.

As more and more Asian Males ask White Women and women of other races out on dates, more and more Asian Men will succeed in dating them and more and more Asian Men and White Women and women of other races will see this, and the numbers of couples will build up critical mass and more and more Asian Males and Women of Other Races will do the same thing and it will have a rolling snowball effect. More and more Asian Males will succeed in starting relationships with women of other races, and the numbers of Asian Male-Females of Other Races couples will only increase as time goes by. As the ancient Chinese used to say, sometimes you just have to “jump into the open ocean”. And as the old Western sayings go, “No guts, no glory”, and “Fortune favors the brave.”

I do think however, that Asian Men should not mind if White Men or other races of men increasingly start relationships with Asian Women, even if there are an extremely large number of such relationships and women of other races don’t reciprocate as readily at first. You can still start relationships with other races of women, you just have to overcome greater odds in order to do so. But let us always keep peace with one another no matter what happens. I believe that this should be true even if this causes many Asian Women to reject Asian Men and to look down on them and to put them down as unworthy of them also. That will never be true for Asian Men and Asian Women and for Asian Men and any other race of women also, or for any woman individually. I do not think that if this happens and Asian Women start making fun of Asian Men, that Asian Men should lower themselves to respond to and fight back against Asian Women who stoop down to that level to do such a thing, because all it means is that if there are no more Asian Women who will start relationships with Asian Men, that Asian Men will have to start relationships with women of other races instead of Asian Women. It may be harder to do such a thing, and Asian Men may have to adjust themselves as people and grow and improve themselves as people in order to do such a thing and you may have to take yourself out of your comfort zone, but, as the increasing number of Asian Man-Women of other Races couples prove, it is possible.

I also do not think that Asian Men should mind White Men and men of other races starting relationships with Asian Women also because for Asian Men who believe in interracial relationships with Asian Men and Women of Other Races, it would be hypocritical for them to be against Asian Female-Men of Other Races relationships. It would be a double-standard and would be forbidding others to do what Asian Men want themselves, you’re supposed to treat others the way you want to be treated in life, and so because it is wrong for Asian Men who are for Asian Man-Women of Other Races relationships to be against Asian Woman-Men of Other Races couples, I do not think that Asian Men should be against it at all. And I think that the Asian Men who are against such a thing and who are so are just stressing themselves out over something that they should not mind at all.

Plus, you could look at the bright side and think of it this way, with so many men of other races starting so many relationships with Asian Women, it causes women of other races to think of Asian Men as possible future partners for themselves also, as likewise, many men of their own race have found Asian Women to be compatible partners with them as well. And Asian Women-Men of Other Races couples cause women of other races to start think of starting future relationships with Asian Men and cause them to realize that an Asian partner might make a compatible future mate for them as well. In fact, many White Men even know that this effect occurs, and so they try to stop other races of men from starting relationships with Asian Women so that they can prevent Asian Men from starting relationships with other races of women. So, by being against Asian Women and Men of Other Races couples, you are just taking away other people’s freedom of choice which you should respect, being racist yourself, being a hypocrite and practicing, especially if you are for Asian Men starting relationships with Women of Other Races, playing into other people’s hands who are completely racist against you without you even realizing it, and just being self-destructive.

And also, if Asian Men prefer other races of Women besides White Women, then they should feel free to start relationships with other races of Women as well, such as Black Women, Latina Women, Native American Women, or non-East Asian Asian Women. Many East Asian Men tell stories on the Internet that say that it is easier to start a relationship with a Black Women or a Latina Women than it is to start a relationship with a White Women, and deep down underneath it all, we are all equal, and are all attractive blessed races with something good to offer to the others, and to benefit others, with none being without worth or value, and it is a person’s own choice after all, and that right should be respected.

Although if an Asian Male prefers only White Females, and of course, if a White Female prefers only Asian Males, then it is their choice, and they both should have the freedom to choose to do whatever they want and they should both have their choices be respected without other people interfering in it.

Re: Asian guys with white girls: Redux

Caro_Caro — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 17:56:08 -0000

I'm a German female, and I've dated lots of Asians. I think Asians look better than Caucasians XD. We do get strange looks as a couple though ><; Btw there are like 7 or 8 amwf dating communities out there already, like http://www.hey-ai.com and such ...

Re: Asian guys with white girls: Redux

SChen123 — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 15:33:14 -0000

The first white girl I dated was a Spaniard. I'm Chinese and during the late 80's I was attending middle school in Madrid. At that time, Madrid was pretty racist, and I was mocked by my classmates all the time. But I learned castellano (spanish) very quickly, and eventually assimilated into their culture and made friends. A spaniard girl, Taña, who was attending the same school and grade I was invited me to a picknick, and since we were a couple for several years. Eventually we split up after my parents moved to the US.

Some of my Asian friends in the US complains that white guys are taking all the asian girls and that white girls don't date them. But I almost never had a problem dating white girls. In fact, whites and latinas are the only one I date. I even dated a girl from Texas and Colorado. After my experience in Spain, I'm so used to everything that nothing shock me anymore. Most white girls are pretty open in dating asians, with a few exception, but I believe that is choice. At least that is how I feel. And I'm so glad to see other couples that feels the same as I do.

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cuckooclock — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 06:54:40 -0000

I am a Chinese guy and have been living in Switzerland for the past 10 years. My current girlfriend of 3 years is a Swiss blonde. My last two relationships were with a Tunisian/Greek woman and an incredibly sexy (if I may say so) Sri Lankan woman. You could kind of say that I am an equal opportunity guy when it comes to dating women.

Personally, I happen to know of a string of Asian man-western woman combos among my acquaintances. For example, one of my Swiss girlfriend's work colleagues is married to a Japanese guy. My barber, who just so happens to be a Japanese guy, was married to a Swiss woman, just a like a couple of his own Japanese friends. Then there is the daughter of my girlfriend's private flute teacher who married a Japanese guy.

Just in case you were thinking that we are dealing with some kind of phenomenon mainly limited to Japanese guys, I know a Chinese opera singer whose 19 old son is being romantically pursued by a number of his Swiss girl classmates in school (he is a good-looking, and a very outgoing and confident chap). Last but not least, a Chinese friend of mine has been pursued by a Swiss lady, asking him to date her. However, he stubbornly wants to date Chinese women only. I have been trying hard to convince him to go for western women, but so far without any luck – I may have to resort to putting (ground) hallucinogenic mushrooms in his drink one day….

In addition, lately I have started to actively pay attention to interracial couples on the streets, and so far I have sighted a number of such couples involving Asian guys. As one example, last Sunday, as I was strolling in the park, I came across a Chinese guy walking arm in arm with a Swiss woman, probably married judging from the two young mixed looking boys who were with them.

It is undeniable that many decades of racist and demeaning stereotyping perpetuated by Hollywood have had a severe toll on the dating chances of (East) Asian men. With this in mind, one could discount my personal observations as just anecdotal "evidence"; nevertheless I believe that things are finally changing for the better for Asian guys in the dating scene. In the latest release of marriage and co-habitation data by the European census and marriage registry bureau for the year 2008, analysts have discovered a significant trend toward greatly increasing numbers of European women marrying and living with Asian men residing in European Union member countries.

Globalization and the gradual shift of economic and political power to East Asia have also led to an increase in more balanced, positive and truthful images of Asian men. Even Hollywood is realizing this and catching up. On a personal level, what also helps a lot is to be confident when approaching women (especially western ones) and be able to hold an intelligent conversation interlaced with humor (I believe these are one of the reasons why I have been hit on by numerous white women, mostly in corporate environments).

Re: Asian guys with white girls: Redux

khcheung — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 15:29:05 -0000

Hi! I'm new to this site. I'm from Vancouver, and around town, i see as many Asian girl - White guy couples as I do Asian guy - White girl couples. Not a whole lot either sense, but they exist equally.

I want to talk a little about the (under- or over-) masculinization of non-white men. I just watched James Cameron's The Avatar, and I think it's a very good example of white-men storytelling. In the end, the white man saves the natives (non-whites), and all the strong male natives die. In this case, the Native woman objectified, like a trophy. And the men who are left function a war-prize for the one white man. That's part of why non-white men struggle with their masculinity.

This is expected, James Cameron is a white man writing. His main character is a white man, a self-reflection. I can't expect any better from James Cameron.

But I can expect more from Asian men. Your struggle for masculinization, it's between you and white men. Women, well, we're just objects anyways, we don't have much of a say in this. Our struggle is a different one.

Asian men, please write stories, please redefine masculinity, please don't blame women. We're victims too, in a different way.

Re: Asian guys with white girls: Redux

numnugget — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 16:02:26 -0000

the trend is certainly becoming more and more common, but I wonder if it is just kind of like the flavor of the week or will it persist. who knows :) I'm all for it. even started a website for it LOL

http://www.projectrevelasia...

Re: Asian guys with white girls: Redux

maria — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 00:15:47 -0000

The AMWF in Japan is not so much a trend out here - it's because Mr Charisma Man isn't quite the hot catch.

Though dating in this country has been pretty difficult (in reference to realist post about asian guys having to work harder with white girls) and I've found myself working twice as hard with a new set of dating rules and the language barrier (my Japanese is still not amazing). Not to mention when I got dumped via text message because I was "too strong minded".

Thank goodness for my fella (Japanese Canadian) whom with, I know where I stand.

That's not saying I'm lazy in dating, but it's much less to think about in this relationship without it being work (but worth it) in itself already.

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Guest — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 23:06:26 -0000

Is it really a "trend", though?

Re: Asian guys with white girls: Redux

ifvybaby — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 14:21:52 -0000

the person I date. Shit, do we need to make a list of why Asian guys are awesome to know that we're awesome. It is like reading an insecure classified ad in the dating section. Maybe that is the stigma of Asian American man. Maybe it isn't our fault, but it is all those images in the media. But, yo, in the enI've been making a note of Asian dude/White girl couples around ifvy and it's definitely something to note. Just saw one last night and in the biking community, I tend to see it a lot... not sure why..d, I'm awesome because of who I

Re: Asian guys with white girls: Redux

ming — Fri, 08 May 2009 09:23:46 -0000

I agree that everyone has their own preference, and you should go after whoever you're attracted to - be it white, black, Asian, Latino, etc.

You can say whatever you want about the negativity of social constructs that surround a white guy/asian girl couple. I've heard it all: racist media, white-patriarchal society, China-doll fetish, etc. But as a reformed, former-hater on white guy/asian girl couples, I can honestly say those negative sentiments are projections (in part, if not completely) of your own insecurities about your race. That's a belief I'm sticking to - you can read more about it here: http://howtobeaflyasian.com...

With that said - I also can't help but root for Asian guys dating white girls. In upstate NY, it was a rarity.

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S.O. — Fri, 01 May 2009 17:27:40 -0000

Realist and Mike, I totally disagree with you guys. It's so much easier for me to date white girls. I feel like there is almost no white girl out of my league, no matter how hot she is. White girls will respond to confidence, a good personality, good humor, and to a lesser extent good looks. I can walk up to the most beautiful white girl and she will at least give me a chance.

On the other hand, you have some Asian girls who will never date an Asian guy even if he has everything going for him. With them, I know I have no chance. Now this is not all Asian girls, but a pretty good portion of them.

That's all fine. None of this makes me mad. I actually prefer white girls so life is pretty good for me. For those Asian girls who only want a white guy, I hope they find the white man of their dreams and live happily ever after. To each his or her own. We all have preferences and you have to respect them. But reality is what it is. The only people who harbor the anti-Asian man bias is Asian women.

Re: Asian guys with white girls: Redux

Andy — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 17:03:47 -0000

Hehe, nice article.

Might be just me but I see AM/WF couples as much as I do AF/WM, I must be doing something wrong :P

& Cooper Brown - you make a nice couple.

Re: Asian guys with white girls: Redux

AM/WF — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 13:27:51 -0000

HAHA awesome article ben.

the "ten reasons" link was funny too :)

Re: Asian guys with white girls: Redux

JOE BOB — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 03:58:34 -0000

I may be a little late on this topic but just wanted to add my 2 cents.

I'm an american asian male and recently moved to the RTP area to go to school. I had dated some white girls before (I was born and raised in so cal), but it was mostly friends setting us up and the girls were decently attractive (but had a weird thing about liking asian boys). Since I've been in NC though I've actually been approached numerous times by very attractive white girls that bought ME drinks.

Interestingly enough, I think the same allure/fetish (whatever you wanna call it) that was present in cali exists over in NC (probably since there arent many asian guys and the ones here are mostly foreign exchange students or book worms).

All in all, I think people like things that are different.

Re: Asian guys with white girls: Redux

Art — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 09:28:00 -0000

As a Asian american guy married to a wf in the South I object to the idea that progressive (liberal)=open minded about race. Some of the most open minded non-racist people I know are conservatives.